I am finally going to jump ship! I leave for Hawaii August 26th! I'm so excited I could dance my heart out. I have made this decision for the betterment of my life. I am finally going to be happy for me. You see just a month ago, my husband left me once again. After everything we have been through, I was in shock. How could he just leave while I was at work like that? How fickle is his heart truly? We are soul mates and always come back to each other. I wasn't so sure this time. We had been fighting for a week. About sex. He was mad he wasn't getting it, and I was irrate that he hasn't done as I had asked. When he came home in October, we had agreed to any things. He never stuck by his word. I really felt he doesn't respect me at all, or cared about my needs for that matter. How was I to intimate with him when my needs were not being met? I felt unloved in the worst of ways. He turned right back into the man he said he hated. Was I never to be enough for him? Was our marriage never to work out? So I sat and thought about it. I came to the conclusion that it was high time I leave this state. Our court date is next Thursday on the 26th. Will he be there? I have no clue. Is he going to come home? He says he is. I can't be sure about anything. He says he wishes to follow me to Hawaii. It is going to cost so much to get out there. And I'm not sure he is going to stand by me when stress might over come me. I worry constantly that I am just waiting in vain for him to be the man I married, and not the man he has been. I just have to concentrate on finding another part time job, saving as much money as I can, and dipping out to Hawaii, where the warm sandy beaches call to me.
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