We have all said those words " Till the End" in some form or another. We have said them when we pledge our love to the one we would call our "Soul mate". We say them in our vows when we get married. To be a "good" wife, mother, and life partner " till the end ". Now I am the kind of wife who takes her marriage seriously. I am the type of witch that "goes The Hardest Ever" for her man.
I take my "duties" as a wife to heart. I want to share with you some of my reasons. First of all I don't believe in divorce. Marriage is sacred. Sacred to the heart; the soul.
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| We crafted our "Jumping Broom" together. This is our wedding. |
Before my husband and I decided to "jump over the broom", I laid down the "laws and rules of the game" just to let him know what he was in for before we took that fateful jump.
1. Divorce is not for me. I can not, will not, sign papers ever. I will not move out of my own home cause you need "space". I pay the bills here as much as you do. We will work it out until one of us croaks if that is what it comes down to. I married you cause I love you, not because of any other reason. Love got us here, Love can get us out.
2. I have friends. I need time with them to unwind and blow off steam. Under no circumstances are you to ever tell me I can't hang with my girls. Unless you want me to turn in to Super Witch, you better hand me my phone and the keys.
2 b. Can not keep others of the opposite sex for friends. There are special circumstances for both of us, I assure you this. This was our biggest fight and struggle for so long. My husband and I are very jealous people. And selfish as well. My husband believed that every man wanted to get in my pants (not kidding), even though I had debunked this many times, it just wouldn't go away. Finally, I just said I will no long have male friends as long as he didn't keep female friends. It was hard, but now I have a huge circle of female friends that are supportive and there when I need a woman's opinions. If we hadn't done that, I would have never stepped out of my safety zone to make friends. My husband on the other hand is incapable of making friends with men..... so he doesn't have friends, except one. That is fine by me, and he doesn't seem to care either way.
3. Don't lie to me, ever, about any thing. Just tell me the truth. Lies hurt every one, not just the person getting lied to.
4. Love me and accept me for I am and will become. I am always changing, bettering my self, and evolving from who I used to be. But there will always be things about me that never change and those are the things I need you to love me for.
There isn't many laws as you can see. We have rules, and we try to stick to them to make this marriage a happy commitment to be apart of.
It is never easy to be married when you are from my generation. My generation is the generation of causal relationships. We have to work extra hard to not get bored and run off with some one new. I am one that believes that real love can pay the bills, my husband not so much. We work hard at this every single day, and trust me, some days are harder than others. We fight, and we argue. We have heated debates just like any other couple. We always work it out though. That is real strength there. You can't name call or place blame, and that is a lot harder than one would think. You have to know when to pick your battles. You also have to know how to just let it go. Some things will never be resolved. Example: His mother always has her nose up in our financial business. My argument is " I married you, not your mother. It is not her place to dictate to us in our marriage." I don't usually talk to my own mother about my husband's and I 's personal woes. I just don't like to. I really feel that as a free thinking adult, I don't need a mother's approval for any thing. It is my life, my marriage, and my money, not my mother's. His argument is "She always helps us out. IF it wasn't for her, we wouldn't be where we are now." Both arguments are valid here. She does help us out more than I care for her to. I have pride and that is damaging to it. She has saved our butts more times than I can count. I can see where he is coming from. This is one argument that I will never win. You can not compete with a man's mother. If he is a momma's boy, he will tell her every thing. Always. I only have one person I tell every thing to and that would be my best friend. Telling my mom every thing is just some thing I don't do. I tell her all the important stuff and that is the end of it. I am slowly learning to pick my battles but I am getting there. Day by day I get a little wiser.
By now I am sure you are wondering with all this work, if there was any play. We have fun, especially when we have been working so hard at it. We try to treat each other with dinners or gifts the other enjoys. My husband loves to game. I make it point to get him gaming gear or new games. My husband knows I love wine and food. He brings me home my favorite wine and chocolate when possible. We hang out with other couples and go out when money permits us to. We mostly watch movies or shows, and stay at home. And strangely I am okay with that. When I get the itch to go out, I call my girls. We have a strange dynamic to our relationship, we are complete opposites, yet we work so well. Love is strange, but Marriage is the real adventure.
I will do any thing for my husband, till the day I take my last breath. I can only hope he will do the same for me. We aren't going through with the divorce obviously. Marriage is hard, and some times you just have to lay it all out on the table to get your point across. In no way am I saying to threaten divorce when you feel like you need to win the argument, but if the other person is treating you terribly, then maybe you need to let them know your worth.
Blessed by my friends, until we merry meet again.
Sabrina
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